I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
