So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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