Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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