ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
mondays should just be called national damage control day
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
It's rum buckets o'clock
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
