Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
