Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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