Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
