How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
