Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Randomize
