We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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