I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize