I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
4 words: hood of his car
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
