I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
