He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
