We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Randomize
