I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
