you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
