We're like a lot better than the average bears
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
