sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
