I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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