i permit you to call me
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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