next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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