Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
areolas are like halos for boobs.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
