we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
