nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
