my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
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