You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I looked at my own cervix.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
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