I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
