happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
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