Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
