At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
