my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Randomize
