yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
