brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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