I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize