Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
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