Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
