I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
