fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
