yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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