you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
