I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
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