Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
We got so high we made milksteak
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
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