Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
