How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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