I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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