So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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