i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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