Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
