you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Randomize
