you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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