Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I have fence marks all over my body
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
