I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
