another moral hangover. fuck.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Randomize
