I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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