i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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