Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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