There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
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