dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
