So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
sarcasm needs its own font
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Randomize
