NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
